Oh, how you impress us so. Joy. You f' idiots. Nurses who know everything suck. Okay, nurses who really do know everything don't suck. They are privileged to be really, really smart!
It's those who think they are impressing others with their superior mind, who don't know everything, they suck....seriously. Shut up. Please.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
No Mexican Nurses?
Wait a sec here....there are Mexicans everywhere right? I mean, they are in my neighborhood, all the time, mowing and landscaping. I see them when I pick up a sandwich at Wendy's. They're around me when I take a walk at the lake. A lot of them wash my car. But, something just dawned on me.....That is...where I'm not seeing them.
I have never, NOT once, worked with a Mexican Nurse. I suppose they exist...don't they? I mean shouldn't they? I've worked with countless Filipino, African, Canadian and Indian, but NO Mexican.
It's not that I'm dogging out any one group. I am questioning a fact, that's all. So go blow yourself if its offensive or you misconstrue it as insensitive. I'm only curious why they don't choose health care as a profession. Oh, wait. They do!! Oops. The housekeeper is Mexican. I totally forgot. Now I suppose you will say that comment is insensitive! It's a fact. Fuck you, thank you very much. But, you know what I mean, housekeeping is not 'health care' per Se, even though being in the environment at any level can qualify you as an 'insider' I suppose.
I have never, NOT once, worked with a Mexican Nurse. I suppose they exist...don't they? I mean shouldn't they? I've worked with countless Filipino, African, Canadian and Indian, but NO Mexican.
It's not that I'm dogging out any one group. I am questioning a fact, that's all. So go blow yourself if its offensive or you misconstrue it as insensitive. I'm only curious why they don't choose health care as a profession. Oh, wait. They do!! Oops. The housekeeper is Mexican. I totally forgot. Now I suppose you will say that comment is insensitive! It's a fact. Fuck you, thank you very much. But, you know what I mean, housekeeping is not 'health care' per Se, even though being in the environment at any level can qualify you as an 'insider' I suppose.
Since I've watched the floodgates open in my lifetime I can only imagine what the population demographics will look like in 20 years. Who is going to be my nurse? I see no Mexican nurses on the horizon. I'm concerned, that's all. Please, please, please, someone get off your chunky, cheese thighs and go to nursing school. I'm not rich enough for private home care when it becomes my turn.
I am grateful, however, that I have a crew of guys that will mow my lawn for next to nothing. Tried getting the spoiled brat neighbor kid to do it for that amount of money and he just laughs in my face.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Drooling Banjos
One of my favorite RT's asks me today what patients I had. I tell him that I have Mr. Jones, Mrs. Harper and............
Interrupting me he says, "Oh, so you have the drooling banjos." When saying that he leans to the left and acts as though he is drooling. He begins to air play the strings on the 'drooling' banjo with his fingers while singing the instrumental tune of the song. funny, funny.
It was a rough morning. Only because my lazy, lazy, lazy ass, thumb up the kiester nurse manager is .............lay zeeee. She has somehow become superior to working the floor, lending a hand, etc. I know what that seduction is like, I used to manage. She isn't fooling anyone. Her fat ass could have pitched in for 30 minutes helping us all get caught up. She didn't though. More important things to do. Employee satisfaction rates pretty low on her list of priorities. Ah, I don't want to bitch anymore. going to bed. Hopefully, the dream weavers won't attempt to pay me back for laughing so hard over my drooling banjos. It was just one of those things. Didn't mean any harm.
Interrupting me he says, "Oh, so you have the drooling banjos." When saying that he leans to the left and acts as though he is drooling. He begins to air play the strings on the 'drooling' banjo with his fingers while singing the instrumental tune of the song. funny, funny.
It was a rough morning. Only because my lazy, lazy, lazy ass, thumb up the kiester nurse manager is .............lay zeeee. She has somehow become superior to working the floor, lending a hand, etc. I know what that seduction is like, I used to manage. She isn't fooling anyone. Her fat ass could have pitched in for 30 minutes helping us all get caught up. She didn't though. More important things to do. Employee satisfaction rates pretty low on her list of priorities. Ah, I don't want to bitch anymore. going to bed. Hopefully, the dream weavers won't attempt to pay me back for laughing so hard over my drooling banjos. It was just one of those things. Didn't mean any harm.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Chantix
I just got online and saw Yahoos Featured News Headline: G.I's used as 'Guinea Pigs'.
Here is this military guy taking Chantix, he gets wasted at home and starts acting all f-crazy with a gun.
Yeah, that's a first isn't it.....I bet Gibson is wishing Chantix had been around when he needed it.
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=8357780
If I was all drunk and had a gun laying around, I, too, would probably start acting all 'crazy'.... inspite of the chantix. In fact, I had a roommate years ago who came home at 3am, DRUNK. As my friends and I sat there watching the ending of the Deer Hunter....yes, right at Russian Roulette time.....my roommate decides she wants to freak us all out. She runs to her room, grabs her gun, puts it to her head in front of us and says, "Hey guys, look at me." NOT funny. I think the moral of the story here is Alcohol makes people crazy ....don't blame the drugs you are taking when you do stupid shit.
First of all:
No one made you take Chantix you f' moron. Where is the responsibility you should assume for gulping the drug down in hopes it would curb your smoking desire? Quit blaming other people.
Second of all:
You were DRUNK! Some of us just get plain 'crazy' when we drink....gee do ya think maybe you're one of em? And, maybe you get drunk so you don't have to look at that wife of yours?? Awe, did I say that? I meant that 'life' of yours.
Thirdly:
Why is it that everyone believes drugs do Only 'good things' . Yet most people fail to take into consideration what negative effects they are doing to the body... at the same time. Drugs have some positive and negative reactions or risks/benefits. An aspirin can be dangerous for christ sakes. Even food has harmful consequences. These are the same fucking morons that sue McDonalds because they gained weight.
So, G.I.'s, Quit blaming others because you were outted having a psychotic moment because you were DRUNK!
I am a fan of chantix after taking it myself. It not only curbed the desire to smoke, it curbed the desire to drink. I felt better about myself and got on a healthy regimen. When I drink I have a tendency to drink myself into oblivion, start stalking ex-boyfriends, and begin drunk dials in the middle of the night. IF I went all crazy on the Chantix after drinking a ton, would it be right of me to blame the Chantix even after knowing my history of craziness with drinking? Yeah, it would be the right thing to do if I were in complete, utter DENIAL about my ability to handle alcohol.
So, good Luck 'E' with your issues. Oh, and just for the record, we all have em. Get over it. Now that you just scared the shit out of many people that could have or would have attempted smoking cessation with Chantix, go take yourself, your gun and a steaming hot one in the woods. Take your wife too, that face will keep the scarey monsters away. On second thought, you better take a bunch of alcohol.............a bunch....and while you're at it, read this:
http://ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/fs_alcohol.html
Here is this military guy taking Chantix, he gets wasted at home and starts acting all f-crazy with a gun.
Yeah, that's a first isn't it.....I bet Gibson is wishing Chantix had been around when he needed it.
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=8357780
If I was all drunk and had a gun laying around, I, too, would probably start acting all 'crazy'.... inspite of the chantix. In fact, I had a roommate years ago who came home at 3am, DRUNK. As my friends and I sat there watching the ending of the Deer Hunter....yes, right at Russian Roulette time.....my roommate decides she wants to freak us all out. She runs to her room, grabs her gun, puts it to her head in front of us and says, "Hey guys, look at me." NOT funny. I think the moral of the story here is Alcohol makes people crazy ....don't blame the drugs you are taking when you do stupid shit.
First of all:
No one made you take Chantix you f' moron. Where is the responsibility you should assume for gulping the drug down in hopes it would curb your smoking desire? Quit blaming other people.
Second of all:
You were DRUNK! Some of us just get plain 'crazy' when we drink....gee do ya think maybe you're one of em? And, maybe you get drunk so you don't have to look at that wife of yours?? Awe, did I say that? I meant that 'life' of yours.
Thirdly:
Why is it that everyone believes drugs do Only 'good things' . Yet most people fail to take into consideration what negative effects they are doing to the body... at the same time. Drugs have some positive and negative reactions or risks/benefits. An aspirin can be dangerous for christ sakes. Even food has harmful consequences. These are the same fucking morons that sue McDonalds because they gained weight.
So, G.I.'s, Quit blaming others because you were outted having a psychotic moment because you were DRUNK!
I am a fan of chantix after taking it myself. It not only curbed the desire to smoke, it curbed the desire to drink. I felt better about myself and got on a healthy regimen. When I drink I have a tendency to drink myself into oblivion, start stalking ex-boyfriends, and begin drunk dials in the middle of the night. IF I went all crazy on the Chantix after drinking a ton, would it be right of me to blame the Chantix even after knowing my history of craziness with drinking? Yeah, it would be the right thing to do if I were in complete, utter DENIAL about my ability to handle alcohol.
So, good Luck 'E' with your issues. Oh, and just for the record, we all have em. Get over it. Now that you just scared the shit out of many people that could have or would have attempted smoking cessation with Chantix, go take yourself, your gun and a steaming hot one in the woods. Take your wife too, that face will keep the scarey monsters away. On second thought, you better take a bunch of alcohol.............a bunch....and while you're at it, read this:
http://ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/fs_alcohol.html
Thursday, June 12, 2008
.Edu
Alright, who told em? After a year of freedom from mandatory online education, the hospital
just gave out online assignments to everyone, .Edu has caught up with me. damn.
Granted, reviewing how to wash my hands, or preparing for bioterrorism, or how Hepatitis spreads is very necessary, but for the 14th year in a row now......come on.
I haven't looked at the online content yet, but I'm sure it's the same 'ole stuff. Thanks JACHO. I think one more go around is what it will take for me to finally get Informed Consent or Advanced Directives. Thanks for wasting my time on bullshit.
just gave out online assignments to everyone, .Edu has caught up with me. damn.
Granted, reviewing how to wash my hands, or preparing for bioterrorism, or how Hepatitis spreads is very necessary, but for the 14th year in a row now......come on.
I haven't looked at the online content yet, but I'm sure it's the same 'ole stuff. Thanks JACHO. I think one more go around is what it will take for me to finally get Informed Consent or Advanced Directives. Thanks for wasting my time on bullshit.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Upside
Yes, this is my bitch-blog, but I think it's important to say there are good things that happen in nurse land too. Sometimes you have amazing patients and family members. And, sometimes they bring gifts!
I always get gifts. I get gifts so much that I've had coworkers say they want to work with me because I'm always reeling in the food and candy.
The other day the wife of one of my patients left the hospital and came back with warm, freshly baked brownies. How cool is that?!
Every Christmas, for years now, I open up a card with a Starbucks Gift card in it from a former patients daughter. The patient has since died, but I think it says a lot that this daughter still sends a card. Maybe she is getting old and senile herself and is thinking I'm a daughter-in-law or niece at this point.
We all know we aren't supposed to accept individual gifts. So, with the Starbucks cards, I am drinking a coffee and thinking about you all....does that work?
During Nurses week we received a small can of gourmet cookies from one of the doctor groups. This can had like 12 cookies, gobbled up in no time flat. I was thinking how sad it is they send 12 fricking cookies for 65 people to fight over, yet our patient family members will buy us complete dinners.....For Everyone! I'm not saying anything, Just a thought, that's all.
So here are some of the things I've received:
Money, watch, nurse pins, nurse pens, bracelet, coffee mug, tickets, gift cards, teddy bear with my name, flowers, plants, many, many thank you cards, and my favorite of all.....food...(depending on the source, of course). Of course nothing beats having a patient return months later to see you in person.
I always get gifts. I get gifts so much that I've had coworkers say they want to work with me because I'm always reeling in the food and candy.
The other day the wife of one of my patients left the hospital and came back with warm, freshly baked brownies. How cool is that?!
Every Christmas, for years now, I open up a card with a Starbucks Gift card in it from a former patients daughter. The patient has since died, but I think it says a lot that this daughter still sends a card. Maybe she is getting old and senile herself and is thinking I'm a daughter-in-law or niece at this point.
We all know we aren't supposed to accept individual gifts. So, with the Starbucks cards, I am drinking a coffee and thinking about you all....does that work?
During Nurses week we received a small can of gourmet cookies from one of the doctor groups. This can had like 12 cookies, gobbled up in no time flat. I was thinking how sad it is they send 12 fricking cookies for 65 people to fight over, yet our patient family members will buy us complete dinners.....For Everyone! I'm not saying anything, Just a thought, that's all.
So here are some of the things I've received:
Money, watch, nurse pins, nurse pens, bracelet, coffee mug, tickets, gift cards, teddy bear with my name, flowers, plants, many, many thank you cards, and my favorite of all.....food...(depending on the source, of course). Of course nothing beats having a patient return months later to see you in person.
(Well, that is unless they were a pain in the ass patient (PITA) that took a liking to you and then you have to fake that you are really glad to see them, when you really aren't. And then they stay way past their welcome and then you start feeling guilty....and then you get mad that they won't leave.....And then you remember why you hated having this patient)
Lets end this on a positive note. Families/patients that send food (not homemade) rock.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Whaaaa, I want my bottle!
Well lets see... What kind of shititity thoughts can I spew out today about nursing?
I just worked four 12's. I worked my regular assignment until the 3rd day when some wimpy ass murse comes in and cries cuz he isn't working in the HOU. He was hired for HOU and not the floor....wha, wha, wha. His bellyaching was pathetic. Absolutely, pathetic. Is this what we've become? This guy has only been with the company for a few short weeks! Already he is parading around like he's some sort of God send to the the nursing world.
When I was approached with the plight of this poor, pathetic, dummies panties getting twisted in a wad, I listened as my charge nurse explained the murse would quit if he didn't get to work HOU. OMG. Let him quit is what I thought. Who really cares? I stayed calm and just said, "Wherever you need me...doesn't really matter." I walked away just shaking my head.
What this does is create a huge disservice to the patient, families and myself. I know the patients after 2 days of having them, I know their routine, their drugs, their blood pressures and all the little nuances surrounding them.....their doctors know I know. There is no need to go into detailed conversation regarding anything with anyone because we all know what we all know!!
Don't worry about inconveniencing my ass or the patients I just learned about over the past 2 days you MF's.
I just worked four 12's. I worked my regular assignment until the 3rd day when some wimpy ass murse comes in and cries cuz he isn't working in the HOU. He was hired for HOU and not the floor....wha, wha, wha. His bellyaching was pathetic. Absolutely, pathetic. Is this what we've become? This guy has only been with the company for a few short weeks! Already he is parading around like he's some sort of God send to the the nursing world.
When I was approached with the plight of this poor, pathetic, dummies panties getting twisted in a wad, I listened as my charge nurse explained the murse would quit if he didn't get to work HOU. OMG. Let him quit is what I thought. Who really cares? I stayed calm and just said, "Wherever you need me...doesn't really matter." I walked away just shaking my head.
What this does is create a huge disservice to the patient, families and myself. I know the patients after 2 days of having them, I know their routine, their drugs, their blood pressures and all the little nuances surrounding them.....their doctors know I know. There is no need to go into detailed conversation regarding anything with anyone because we all know what we all know!!
Don't worry about inconveniencing my ass or the patients I just learned about over the past 2 days you MF's.
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