Student Loans Suck

HINSON-HAZLEWOOD STUDENT LOAN THROUGH THE TEXAS HIGHER EDUCATION COORDINATING BOARD SUCKS.

Good luck viewing your account online, their IT department sucks.
Good luck getting anyone on the phone, the spoiled rotten government workers don't know what 'Close at 5pm' means.

FUCKERS.

Ask a Nurse

I'm so tired of the nursing arena. I like nursing patients, but it's the other stuff, I feel like it's taking years off my life. The environment and issues are so tiring and so stressful some days... If you just stand back and look at the whole thing with the perspective you are on the outside looking in- You see people in scrubs running around in over drive all day....like little robot, monkey, people pleasing fucks. I suppose if someone knew the answer it would be different.

In fact, I bet if the powers that be ever Ask a Nurse what's up and let us take charge of the system, things would change- beautifully.

"Oh, you smoked yourself into oblivion and now you want us to keep you in the hospital and keep you alive.......Get the fuck out."

"Oh, you are a big fat pig with uncontrolled diabetes and you want to be a full code....ah, No.
Get the fuck out."

"Oh, your father, the one with ESRD, who has no legs, who is demented and confused, can't eat, just shits himself all day, you want him to be a full code...You're evil. Get the fuck out."

Or how about a word for the architects and designers of free standing hospitals and facilities.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING for God's Sake! I mean come on.....building a HUGE lounge area RIGHT SMACK DAB in front of the 10x10 nurses station with a big screen tv for the patients. Get the fuck out.

Oh, and if I was in charge of the world of health care, I think after about a billion or so requests put into the SUGGESTION box that ask for MORE STAFF I would get the hint. I had to grin the other day when my floor director is all serious telling me to 'Please, put your requests in the suggestion box before our town hall meeting...we can't do anything if we don't know....so anything you think might help make this place better...." Ah, gee, I don't know....how about staffing the place more appropriately so you quit burning people fucking out and we actually like to come to work....Yeah, I didn't think so, Get the fuck out.

Scrub: An undersized or insignificant person.

Nurse: A person educated and trained to care for the sick or disabled.

Oh, one more thing to bitch about....Blogger fix your fricking piss ass formatting, I'd like to have paragraphs show up!

Nurses are Bitches cuz of You

What to bitch about today? Hmmm? Well, I am quite surprised I haven't written anything hateful for a week. Lets just give it some time though. I'm sure I'll spiral out of control and spew for relief eventually.

I had a patient who smoked for 90 years or something horrendous like that. She is on 02 at 2L/NC. Not really much going on with her nursing wise, amazingly. She is elderly, but able to ambulate independently, reads the paper, does her puzzles. Basically, keeps herself busy and isn't a PITA patient. Until yesterday.

I start my morning off with a great group of patients. During report I'm thinking, "it looks like I won't get beat down, I might actually have a good day, this group sounds calm and uncomplicated!" So, I start envisioning spending time with the patients, maybe doing all the little 'nice' things we don't often get to do (with joy anyway), like get them a newspaper, make someone fresh coffee, or help someone curl their hair. Usually, this stuff is done with a resentment because there are far more higher priorities to deal with at the time. Today wasn't one of those days. I was eager and looked forward to spending some real time with them, like a 'real' nurse.

I was especially eager to gab with Ms. Smoker for 90+ years. She is totally with it mentally and we could probably connect since I was once a smoker. I was struck for a moment with just a glimmer of a thought to 'give of myself' to each patient today, allowing some of my scrubbed in sunshine aura to rub off on them, to experience what being a nurse is all about, once more, you know, to connect, that kindred spirit thing, to enjoy the patient, to really listen, to really be there for them in their time of need. Shit.

Arriving in the room feeling all bright and cheery. I was ready to share some of my sunshine with Ms. Smoker. Unfortunately, Ms. Smoker wasn't in the mood to indulge me. She proceed to beat the 'Cheerful Nurse' right out of me within 2 minutes flat. Everything at that moment was my fault. The ID doctor stopping her abx, the IM doctor not discussing the results of the CT with her, the casework, the ID doc, and the IM doc not discussing the plan of care with her, the Pulmonary doc for not giving her a forecast of her condition. I mean, did she prepare this shit all night? Lying in wait for some poor unsuspecting nurse to arrive? Gouging with fangs, scratching the soul with claws, glaring at me like I better have an answer for her or she would work me over again. "I don't know, but I can try find out what they are thinking...how's that?", I say.

But, I think, "Listen here, the doctors make rounds every GD day of the fucking year Lady. In addition, you see 4 of them a fricking day!! Were you not in on the conversations with them when they made rounds, cuz I sure and the fuck wasn't. Why do you never act like a fool with them? Why do you save up your anger and frustration for me? Why do you not ASK your doctors these questions and express your concerns with them? Why are you able to crawl up the nurses ass when I am not the one who makes the Plans here? You have bitten off the hand that feeds you."

So, now, when your nurse is aloof, distant, nonverbal, and basically says "I don't know" repeatedly (to stuff we do know the answer to), just know this....You Caused It. Oh, Yeah....one more thing.....You came to see me. You smoked your ass off for years....Deal with it. "Excuse me? You what? Oh, You say you need Ice Water?........Hey, no prob, I'll get right on that." :-)

I just chilled for the rest of the day and gossiped with coworkers. I hung up my desire to 'connect' with my patients and go that extra mile.

So much for the short lived, renewed desire of being there for the patient. I think I'll go back to being a 'real' nurse. That fairy tale 'real' nurse can't live in my head anymore. Pipe dream is over. It's not real. Mother Teresa was the Saint. Florence Nightingale was a bitch. She got shit on, puked over, screamed at, talked down to, compensated little, and treated like shit. Wake up folks. Nurses are bitches cuz of you!

Spring

Ah, the birds singing, the sun shining...nice. I think I'll go back to bed.

Girl Scout Cookies

Thank you Girl Scouts for coming around, right on time, like you do every year. My ass didn't seem to get quite big enough over the winter and holidays. I appreciate the boost your kick-ass cookies are giving me now!

And, here's a thought to ponder....

If it wasn't for your Girl Scouts, I would probably rarely eat cookies. Ya want to know why? Because, I don't buy (shit) cookies at the store, that's why. But, once a year I have some co-worker with dorky, snot-nosed kids shoving the list of all the tasty, little cookies Girl Scouts is selling, telling me they are making money for.....blah, blah, blah, blah.......

I don't give a shit.

I place my order to get you off my back. I don't want to hear it. I don't even want to talk about it, ever. Conversations about cookies, girl scouts, your fucking kids, nothing, nadda. I buy 3 boxes of cookies so that one box at $3.50 doesn't make me look like a cheap ass....and now I'm eating them.

Okay,that is only partially true. I don't buy cookies at the store, but I do love Girl Scout Cookies. However, I must say their timing is quite odd. Can't they start selling them in August or some mundane month like that? Why is it after winter? People are coming out of hibernation at this time for God's sake, seeing their bodies for the first time since like, last September? It's not pretty.

So, if it wasn't for Girl Scout Cookies, I would not be sitting here macking down on Thin Mints right now.

I didn't hunt you down Girl Scouts, you targeted me.
Sometimes I want to remind my patients that I didn't hunt them down, they came to me.

Another thought.....I think I can find cynicism and negativity in most anything :-( :-)

Can't take much more.

It's all an illusion....please, please, please, tell me this is all an illusion.

Unit Secretary: fancy name for, FUCKING MORON.
Nurse: fancy name for, ASS WIPER AND FILL IN PERSON FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S JOB.

Oh, my. Can I take another day of this? The nurse job itself is great, when I get to do it. Several things happened over the past few days that just make me want to scream out loud and make me hate the job of doing everyone Else's job.

Yesterday:
I have two measly patients in the HOU. Easy enough. Doable. No prob. What-f'ing-ever.
How can that get fucked up? It did.

Today:
I feel I've been hit by a mack truck. My body aches, my feet hurt, my legs are heavy.
The hospital called me this a.m. asking me to come in and work for a bonus.

"Would luv to, but because of yesterday I CAN'T MOVE without hurting
and my head is still swirling around all the left over bullshit, so No,
But,
thanks for thinking of me, cuz I really would like to make extra money, however, this may be a thing of the past,
because, since you suck the life out of me while I'm there, I
have nothing
left to give the next day, not even leaving me with the
ability
or desire to
clean house, go get a Starbucks, hang with
friends...

thanks,
but I think I'll
just hobble around in my jammies
because I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND ENERGY FOR ANYTHING ELSE,
I'll maybe even pop in and out of bed a few times to
RECUPERATE FROM YESTERDAY."

Nothing should be this difficult. It's nursing for God's Sake, not War. Most of what I do all day is absolute ridiculousness caused by a screwed up system and at the end of the day it feels like I've been in a war zone (not to minimize the duties of our military, this is just an example, and probably a lame one at that). It's a job you run full-speed ahead for 12 hours.

Consider this: Imagine yourself at a beautiful lake. All the way around the huge lake is a bike/walking path. Now, show up at 7am. Start walking. It gets to be 11:00 am. you are still walking. Don't stop. Nope, can't stop yet, it's not 7pm. Keep on....you gotta keep going, can't stop.... My guess is around 11am you would steal for a bite to eat, a place to sit or even pee....But, ya can't. Too much path ahead of you, you're only a third of the way there...keep going.

Even the thought of a beautiful lake and an awesome walk starts to sound shitty after a little while. So, think of a 4 walled morgue with nasty smells, shitty people, crappy families, phones, alarms, noise, noise, noise, ridiculous ineffeciencies, issues, issues, issues.......for 12 hours. It's fucking torture.

I'm less and less at bedside and more and more a fire, putter-outer. I have to answer the phones! I'm not the GD secretary or receptionist. NO, I DON'T KNOW THE EXTENSION TO THE HUMAN RESOURCES DEPT. THE CASE MANAGER, THE WHOMEVER. IT'S NOT MY PRIORITY AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING OVER EXTENDED AND EXPECTED TO DO ALL THESE DAMN JOBS. Oh, your TV isn't working.... That's my job too ya know. Forget the bottoming out blood pressure, the new orders on the chart, a leaking IV site.....I have a tv to fix, a phone call to forward, a cup of ice to get!!!

Here is my peeve from yesterday:

I have a patient who just received a transfusion for a low H&H. I was waiting for results of the post H&H. Calling the front desk to ask if results were in, asking my unit secretary to run to the front every so often to look for results, etc.

I grab the chart later in the morning and to my surprise, alas, there on the chart sits the BMP and CBC. The H&H looked good, but the K+ was a little low, 3.6. The patient is on a potassium protocol so I give her 20 meq down the peg. Later in the day I notice the BMP on the chart isn't the same one I signed off on earlier. This BMP says the K+ is 4.1. WTF? Well then, who had the 3.6? Was I nuts? Oh, shit.

The lame ass unit secretary put the wrong BMP on my chart. MF! Get rid of them is what I say. If they can't do the job, just get rid of them, get them the fuck out.

Here is another piss ass bitch:
I went from one room to the next wiping hinney.
The first patient had a rectal tube that wasn't working. She also had wound care to be done. So the wound care team and I roll this huge walrus over and clean her up, doctor her horrid skin, and this all takes quite some time.

Next, the wimpy ass physical therapist people want to get the other patient of mine up, but wah, she is dirty. So, I go in and clean the woman up BECAUSE, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE TO DO THIS. But, what really pisses me off good is when I finally surface and pull my head out of other peoples asses, I see on the monitor that one patient had a BP that was high for 2 hours in a row. Not that I'm the brightest bulb in the pack, but it seems to me the bp is my PRIORITY ....OR SHOULD BE.

And, really folks, if something were to go down with the high blood pressure, whose head would be on the line? Mine. And, the because 'I was busy wiping ass' excuse will fall of deaf ears.
I'm telling ya, this system is set up for nurses To Fail. Damn nursing.

The Big Ass Wipe Bottom

It was a shitty day at work, like any other... Suddenly, in the middle of a brown storm, I realized that I....I am a Butt Wiper. I wipe butts for a living. I was able to admit this to myself and to others. :-(

Now that I am free of the delusion that accomplishing a bachelors degree meant something, I can veer off onto a new path. I am not weighted down by heaps of turds any longer. It feels good. I have rid myself of this double life. However, I will look back with pride in knowing that I was one of the HIGHEST PAID ASS WIPERS around. I won't ever speak of these days except where I may run across another degreed, delusioned, reformed, Ass Wiper that we may share our stories and strength with each other.

Maybe I can find people out there in hospital world that function, think, and have standards similar to mine. That is my hope, that is my desire. As long as I keep shitty asses and shit wipe, coworkers out of my life I am freeing up space for good things to come in. It's going to be hard, but I am ready to give it up. I don't want to go down that shitty road any longer. I've had enough. I've hit bottom.

It's ALL F-Up

All of it........every nook and cranny of the system, the operations, and the profession is f'd-up.
It's a mess. A) We keep dead people alive for months. B) Most of those who never contributed a fricking dime to society are the ones collecting the benefits. And, it's not that they couldn't, they chose NOT to. C) The education, common sense and accountability of staff is pathetic. Including doctors! And, all the way to techs, transporters, and to those PICC line people. Self-directed individuals are a thing of the past. Doing the right thing is a thing of the past. THINKING IS A THING OF THE PAST.

I want and expect to Nurse from the bottom up. But, what I do is Nurse Down.
What I mean is this. I should be able to have a firm grasp of what my patient is all about before ever hitting the floor. I should have a solid knowledge of that patient and a firm foundation of all the little tidbits of this patients particular situation/condition. And, from there Nurse UP.

I want to have the time to really assess the vital signs and check in on Mr. So and So if the BP is sky high. I want to look at the finger stick trend and see why the patient is 42 when I get there in the mornings, What I find we do..do as nurses is Nurse Down. I'm getting water, blankets, cleaning up shit, hunting down a telephone that's working, calling the Mattress People to get a new mattress cuz the one I have is messed up.......cleaning dentures, opening all the little packages that come on the trays, getting a towel for a bib.......That's what I do all GD day long. I'm a Very Well Paid Tech.

The more serious stuff gets a lick and a promise. All because I am a Glorified Tech. So, I throw Mr. So and So a blood pressure pill, give Miss So and So some orange juice and keep on running down the hall getting that blanket, getting that water, grabbing some wipes on the way so I can clean up shit on another. And, then what's worse is to ask the tech to recheck the BP and DFS in an hour. They might do it, they might not. If they do, you spend 10 minutes hunting them down for the result, where it would just be easier if you do it yourself, BUT BECAUSE I'M BUSY WIPING ASS I DON'T HAVE THE FRICKING FREEDOM TO DO MY JOB.

It's a MESS.

Here is a great one:
Remember Tom Cruise in Risky Business? He has these sunglasses he is putting on or taking off...I forget which....but he says, "Sometimes ya just have to say What the Fuck." Following is one of those moments.

I get an admit. I Park him in an empty room while waiting on his room to be cleaned. So obviously his bags are sitting there. I admitted him as though he was going to that room just in case the move never happened.

I go to check his DFS. He is gone. This man is out of it, a para, etc. He wasn't going anywhere by himself. I thought maybe he was moved by the charge/tech to his new room. I look in there, he's not there. After asking around for anyone who might know anything....the Unit Secretary....who never quite fesses up that maybe she was the DIPSHIT in all of this....says she told the transporters to take MS. G in room 101. I inform her there is no Ms. G in room 101, that Ms. G is in room 120.......
So, long story short, the fucking idiots took MR. A on a little ride. We did call and have them return the poor bastard, but geez....
So many things are wrong here.
First, the Unit Secretary dropped the Ball in a huge way. Instead of looking at the board on the wall that tells ya plain as fricking day where the patient is (and is kept up regularly) she decides to use her pea brain intellect and use the Face sheet/Labels book to tell her what room the patient is in. That would be great if YOU FUCKING MORONS KEPT THE BOOK UP. Who do you think is responsible for that? The nurse. Your fucking babysitter. God Damn you fucking idiots wear my ass out.

Anyway, second thing she fucked up in is not letting the nurse know the patient was being picked up.

What use is she? Get her the fuck out.

The transporters....well, what can ya expect of them? I'm sure they've never heard of a name band.

Stupid People

Are people deranged or is it just me. I must say that I find so many people just look the other way, and then if I open my mouth it seems like I always end up the bad guy. Imagine an intelligent conversation with the above? I mean come on. Dealing with this type of crazy all day is crazy making. It's pointless right? However, in my profession I am expected to kiss ass of these nut jobs. I'm tired of sucking it up, I'm tired of even having to live on the same fucking planet as these folks.

I can only think of shit that pisses me off right now and it revolves around people being stupid. Again, maybe it's me, but I don't think so. Not that I can't be 'stupid' I just try NOT to be if I think I am getting close.

First stupid person issue:
I'll call her RM. She is an aide, NA, CNA, RA, PCA or PCT, tech........I can't keep up anymore with what these people are called so I will just say she is the Nurses AIDe.
She was assigned a few of my patients the other day. She is as slow as molasses rolling down hill in the middle of February in Minnesota. Slooooowwwwwww......
She is in the hall of one of the wings yakking on her cell phone. I don't really think anything about it, just go about my business. But, then, later, much later, she is still there, yakking on her cell phone. NOT WHILE I'M PASSING THE FUCKING WATER, GETTING PATIENTS ANOTHER BLANKET, MOVING THEIR RIGHT TOE 2 CM TO THE RIGHT......OH, NO YA DON'T.
A few minutes on the phone who cares, right? But, 5 minutes or even 10? I start caring. Especially if it's in the hallway. Go the GD break room if your horrendous issue is that time consuming.
I bathed a patient. I only bathed her because the patient is picky. I wanted to get her situated entirely before she had a chance to wear me out for the rest of the day. I knew if I waited on RM the bath either would be done at 5pm and take her a convenient hour and a half to do it during dinner time, or it wouldn't be done at all. So, I just did it. Took 15 minutes, all clean, nice.
She wanted her dentures soaked. Nothing to soak with so I go get some mouthwash, but there isn't any. I call materials to get some, which took probably over 3 hours for it to get to the floor.
In the meantime I asked RM to brush the dentures with toothpaste so the patient can have some teeth.
I intentionally timed how long it would take her just for my own sense that she is pathetically slow. She entered the room at 10:30. I see her through the crack in the door scrubbing the dentures at the sink....a slow scrub, scrub, scrub. Not a fast SCRUBSCRUBSCRUB like normal people do. At 10:37 I look back into the room. She is at the sink with dentures in left hand and phone to her ear in the right! I walked into the room and said, "RM talking on the phone in the patients room is against policy and totally inappropriate, you need to take that else where, NOW." She lingers, still talking. I said, "This is not okay, you need to take that out of here." She finally went to the hallway. Leaned against the wall, dentures and toothbrush in left hand, phone to the ear in right.

So, of course, I tell the charge nurse, only because if you don't say anything and it comes out later, they always say, "Why didn't you say anything, you need to tell us these things....blah, blah, blah." Like they fucking care. But, really, I thought it the right thing to do. I mean the patient is totally with it and an old Principle of a School. She wasn't stupid. If it was the first time I experienced this type of substandard care from the nurses aid I never would have said anything, but she is a constant 'headscratcher' for me.

In the little pow wow....she says, "You're evil, you are picking on me, this is all about you being filled with hate,......two weeks ago you.....blah, blah, blah......" I didn't say much, really. I just looked at her and realized people really are stupid, thinking to myself, 'Why did I bother doing this, why, why, why, why, why did I say anything' I know better, I really, really know better. I just bought myself 30 minutes of wasted time. I should have brushed the teeth myself....damn'.
I'm no saint and gosh I don't think I'm evil, but I thought we were with the charge nurse to discuss an issue about YOU being in a patients room ON A CELL PHONE!!! I left the nursing office in the middle of her rant. She didn't even hear me when I told the charge in a soft voice that she isn't 'getting it' and probably won't get it, that I have work to do, so I will go ahead and leave....then I said to the charge, "sorry". I meant it.

Sorry about the inconvenience of bringing up an issue that is an issue everyday, everywhere, that never, ever gets fixed. Never will. You can't fix or train stupid people who have no common sense. It won't happen. The nurses aid kept right on yapping, not skipping a beat. I left her and the charge nurse alone.

I'm telling ya, the hospital environment beats the care right out of ya. It's so much easier to just pass the meds, give lip service to the patient complaints, do half-assed shitty charting and go home. It's sad, but true. Who in the world wants to take on the battle of fighting with stupid people all day. I don't! I have too much to do as a nurse to even worry about what other's are doing. But, I know when they aren't! It shows. I hear it from my patients and families and doctors. And, it's so energy draining.

Here is a great one! OMG.

Okay, I really do have a heart for people who come to this country to make a better life for themselves. I have a huge appreciation for people who can speak more than one language, cuz I don't. And, I am envious of people who can put themselves in a strange environment, out of their comfort zone, cuz I can't...or won't too much.
But, I am also fearful for our future and who is going to be my nurse when its my turn to lay in that bed. Be afraid, be very, very afraid.

What happened is this. We get some agency chick who is about 2 foot tall, has putrid breath, is a sweet as can be, means well, and is either not grasping the language and basic nursing skills or she is just plain stupid.

First of all she is asking me how much of the liquid colace to give. I'm thinking 'Are you fucking kidding me'? I was nice, really, but geez, there was a part of me that wanted to tell her she wasn't right for this profession. I doubt she realizes she is dangerous, but she is DANGEROUS. And, agency at that.

I said to her after a few seconds to pull my tongue back from saying something shitty, "Ummm, what dose does it say to give?" She rustles through the MAR.....Anyway, I was just dumbfounded. Still am. Frustrating, frustrating, frustrating.

The next little incident with her happened when she asked me to waste some Ativan with her. I said, "Sure." Walked over the the Pyxis and waited. She was in front of the pyxis for awhile and then said to me, "Do I have to log in?" Dahhahaha, Yeah. She logs in. Then is pounding away on keys. I hang back against the wall doing some charting while waiting. I look up and wonder what the heck is taking her so long. I see the name list is up and she is at the bottom of the alphabet. She backspaces, punches in some more letters and comes right back to the z's. She does this over and over. Finally, she turns to me and says she can't find the patients name. The name is Jasper (made up of course). I told her she is hitting the letter Z and not J. She said, "Yes, G.....I hit G, the name's not on here."

I don't know if this applies but it's something I remember hearing during my teenage years which never made sense.....Fuck me upside down in a tree running sideways. God help us.

Working Hard for the Money

5 day stretch. Totally unintended. I had the day off today, but was offered a $400.00 bonus for working the 12hr shift w/same patients, plus it is my 4th day this week which means 8 hrs is overtime! WhooHoo, Gotta Love Nursing! So cash flow was VERY positive today.

Fortunately, I have some great stories to share, some crazy issues, etc. But, Unfortunately I'm too burnt out to write or even think straight. So, I will resurface Tuesday when I can sleep in an recoup, and then I will write some.